Christmas Party December 5

Purchase Your Tickets Today

Tuesday, December 5th

7:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.

Swain Boating Center at The Citadel

11 Hammond Ave.

Dinner, Drinks, and Dancing

A Visit From Santa Claus (Bringing Cigars and Libations)

A Christmas Carol or Two 

$65 Per Person

(The Events Committee put in some long hours brainstorming for the Christmas Party. Some of the ideas simply didn't make the cut...)

REJECTED CHRISTMAS PARTY IDEA #1

Santa Will Not Be Sitting On A Throne of Lies

Dinner

Spaghetti with maple syrup, candy, marshmallows, and crushed-up Pop Tarts

The four main groups of candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup.

The World's Best Cup of Coffee

Activities

Snowball Fights

Etch A Sketch

Lite Brite

Singing

(Worried about singing?  It’s easy, it’s just like talking - except louder and longer and you move your voice up and down. And the best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear).

BONUS FULL DAY: First we make snow angels for two hours, and then we’ll go ice skating, and then we’ll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse Cookie Dough as fast as we can, and then to finish, we’ll snuggle.

REJECTED CHRISTMAS PARTY IDEA #2

A Fun, Old-Fashioned Family Christmas

Dinner

Turkey (dry)

Lime Jell-O mold.

"What to Know"

RV parking available.

Todd and Margo are not invited.

  Attendees will receive a one year membership in the Jelly Of The Month Club

Planning To Leave Early?

Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here.

No matter how bad it gets, we're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny Kaye."

(We'll be lighting a few Christmas lights.)

REJECTED CHRISTMAS PARTY IDEA #3

The Remedy if Your Heart is Full of Unwashed Socks and Your Soul is Full of Gunk

Dinner

Rare Roast Beast

Pudding, Popcorn, and Plums

Planned Activities

We'll shriek squeaks and squeals, racing 'round on our wheels.

We'll dance with jingtinglers tied onto our heels.

We'll blow our floofloovers. We'll bang our tartookas.

We'll blow our whohoopers. We'll bang our gardookas.

We'll spin our trumtookas. We'll slam our slooslunkas.

We'll beat our blumbloopas. We'll wham our whowonkas.

And we'll play noisy games like zoozittacarzay,

A roller-skate type of lacrosse and croquet!

And then we'll make ear-splitting noises galooks

On our great big electro whocarnio flooks!

Republicans, young and old, will sit down to a feast.

And we'll feast! And we'll feast! And we'll FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!

We'll feast on Who pudding, and rare Who roast beast,

Roast beast is a feast Democrats can't stand in the least!

And then we'll do something Democrats hate most of all!

Every Republican, the tall and the small,

Will stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.

We'll stand hand-in-hand, and we all will start singing!

 
REJECTED CHRISTMAS PARTY IDEA #4

Welcome To The Party, Pal

An Explosive Tribute to Our 2nd Amendment and the Importance of Tactical Firearm Training.

Location

One Nakatomi Plaza, 30th Floor Atrium

Your Hosts

Joseph Yoshinobu Takagi, Harry Ellis, and Holly Gennaro

Additional Confirmed Guests

John McClane, Hans Gruber, Karl and Tony Vreski, Sgt. Al Powell, Agent Johnson, Agent Johnson (no relation), Argyle

- SHOES REQUIRED -

Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs...

For Tickets to the Real Party, Click Here